Client charged twice: an annotated email example
Defuse the situation and keep the client.
The situation
Natalie was charged $149 twice for her March subscription. It's an error on your side. The refund will arrive within 5 days, and you're offering her one free month.
Very angry: she called it "unacceptable" and threatens to cancel. She wants action.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- An apology
- The error acknowledged (charged twice)
- The refund (5 days)
- The goodwill gesture (free month)
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out an apology : « Not even an apology? »
- Leaving out the error acknowledged (charged twice) : « Do they even understand what happened? »
- Leaving out the refund (5 days) : « And when do I get my money back? »
- Leaving out the goodwill gesture (free month) : « That's it? Nothing for the hassle? »
- Getting defensive before acknowledging the problem.
- Sharing bad news with no solution and no next step.
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Hi Natalie,
- Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.
You're right, and I apologise: our system charged you $149 twice in March.
- Includes: an apology.
- Includes: the error acknowledged (charged twice).
The refund is on its way and will reach you within 5 days. For the trouble, April is on us.
- Includes: the refund (5 days).
- Includes: the goodwill gesture (free month).
May I call you to make sure everything is sorted?
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Best regards,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 48 words against a target of 90, 7 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.