Level 3 · tense situation

Report a lost client: an annotated email example

Break the news and propose a plan.

The situation

Philip MarshSales Director

Client Orion isn't renewing: a competitor offered them a 30% lower price. Impact: $80,000 in yearly revenue. You've identified three prospects to make up for it.

Demanding, he'll take the news badly. He'll want to understand and to know what happens next.

Goal
Break the news and propose a plan.

The winning structure

A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:

  1. A greeting with the recipient's first name.
  2. The lost client (Orion)
  3. The reason (30% cheaper)
  4. The impact ($80,000)
  5. The plan (three prospects)
  6. A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
  7. A short sign-off, then your name.

Common mistakes

Practise this situation →

Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.

The annotated example

Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : Orion not renewing – recovery plan

Hi Philip,

  • Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.

Orion isn't renewing their contract: a competitor offered them a 30% lower price. The impact is $80,000 in yearly revenue.

  • Includes: the lost client (Orion).
  • Includes: the reason (30% cheaper).
  • Includes: the impact ($80,000).

To make up for it, I've identified three prospects to approach this month.

  • Includes: the plan (three prospects).

Can we discuss it tomorrow? I'll walk you through the plan in 20 minutes.

  • Includes: the plan (three prospects).
  • Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.

Best regards,
Alex

  • Short sign-off, then the name.

Why it works : 52 words against a target of 100, 7 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.

Other situations at the same level

Go further