Level 2 · follow-up or refusal
Chase a colleague: an annotated email example
Get the figures in time, without blaming her.
The situation
Sarah LyonsColleague — Sales
On Monday you asked Sarah for October's sales figures for the monthly report. Still nothing. The report goes out tomorrow at noon.
Overloaded; she answers first whatever has a clear deadline and a clear consequence.
Goal
Get the figures in time, without blaming her.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- What's needed (October sales)
- The deadline (tomorrow noon)
- The context (monthly report)
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out what's needed (October sales) : « What are they chasing me for again? »
- Leaving out the deadline (tomorrow noon) : « When do they need it by? »
- Leaving out the context (monthly report) : « What are these figures for? »
- A refusal or follow-up so polite it becomes vague: the reader doesn't know how to answer.
- Over-explaining instead of proposing a next step.
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : October sales figures – needed by tomorrow noon
Hi Sarah,
- Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.
Following up on the October sales figures. The monthly report goes out tomorrow at noon.
- Includes: what's needed (October sales).
- Includes: the deadline (tomorrow noon).
- Includes: the context (monthly report).
Could you send them by 10am tomorrow?
- Includes: the deadline (tomorrow noon).
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Thanks a lot,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 28 words against a target of 70, 5 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.