Level 2 · follow-up or refusal
Say no to a colleague: an annotated email example
Decline without upsetting him, and offer an alternative.
The situation
Luke ParkerColleague — Marketing
Luke asks you to organise the client seminar. Your schedule is full until the end of the month because of the product launch. Ines on your team has capacity.
Friendly but pushy. To him, a "maybe" means "yes".
Goal
Decline without upsetting him, and offer an alternative.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- A clear no
- The reason (launch)
- An alternative
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out a clear no : « So… is that a yes or a no? »
- Leaving out the reason (launch) : « Why not? Sounds like an excuse. »
- Leaving out an alternative : « OK, but what do I do now? »
- A refusal or follow-up so polite it becomes vague: the reader doesn't know how to answer.
- Over-explaining instead of proposing a next step.
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : Client seminar – I can't take it on
Hi Luke,
- Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.
Thanks for thinking of me. Unfortunately I can't organise the seminar: the product launch fills my schedule until the end of the month.
- Includes: a clear no.
- Includes: the reason (launch).
Ines has capacity and knows our clients well. Want me to ask her?
- Includes: the reason (launch).
- Includes: an alternative.
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Best,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 40 words against a target of 80, 6 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.