Level 2 · follow-up or refusal
Follow up with a prospect: an annotated email example
Follow up without being pushy.
The situation
Celine GarnerProspect — HR Director
Ten days ago you sent Celine a proposal for a payroll software. No reply. The launch offer is valid until the 30th. You'd like a 15-minute call.
Polite but very busy. She replies when replying is easy.
Goal
Follow up without being pushy.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- A reminder of the proposal
- The offer deadline (the 30th)
- A short call suggested
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out a reminder of the proposal : « Which proposal again? »
- Leaving out the offer deadline (the 30th) : « Why now? There's no rush, is there? »
- Leaving out a short call suggested : « What do they actually want from me? »
- A refusal or follow-up so polite it becomes vague: the reader doesn't know how to answer.
- Over-explaining instead of proposing a next step.
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : Payroll software: offer valid until the 30th
Hi Celine,
- Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.
Following up on the payroll software proposal I sent ten days ago. The launch offer is valid until the 30th.
- Includes: a reminder of the proposal.
- Includes: the offer deadline (the 30th).
Do you have 15 minutes this week for a quick call? I'll answer any questions you have.
- Includes: a short call suggested.
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Best regards,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 42 words against a target of 80, 6 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.